It’s mid-year and we’re thinking about ways to welcome students and adults into our learning communities. It’s not just a beginning of the year act, but something that happens all year long. We talk about welcoming the student who is always late or welcoming back a student who has been sick or welcoming the student who brought a toy (again). We even welcome Gem the cat and her unexpected cameo appearance on the podcast.
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Show Notes
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Quotables
“See the human outside of the situation you are in.”
“This work takes wherewithal on our part.”
“When I can step back and remember the humanity of the child in front of me, it is a lot easier to take a deep breath and welcome that human into our space.”
“We need to consider the nuance of what we’re saying when kids present us with something we’re not expecting.”
“We welcome supporting each other in every moment, and we work together to make this environment a place where that is possible.”
“How do I preserve the humanity of the child entering our classroom?”
Let’s Be Social
Transcript (AI-Generated)
[00:00:00] Becca: Yeah. And something that seems to be a thread weaving through a lot of these conversations we’re having is seeing the human outside of the situation that you’re looking at. Right. So seeing the human that is in front of you outside of the fact that they’re late for school or outside of the fact that they’ve had to leave your room and come back or have been out for a while and remembering like that, that’s a whole human. That’s that you get to welcome and love and include and be a part of the community for the day.
[00:00:33] Ruth: It’s mid year and we’re thinking about ways to welcome students and adults into our learning communities. It’s not just a beginning of the year act, but something that happens all year long. We talk about welcoming the student who is always late or welcoming back a student who has been sick or welcoming the student who brought a toy again. We even welcomed Jim the cat and her unexpected camp cameo appearance. This is Sticky Pope Becca. Something that’s been on my mind as we’ve continued to talk about just nourishing healthy regulation is the way that we’re welcoming students into our classrooms all the time. So I think we spend a lot of time thinking about it at the beginning of the year. But that idea of welcoming people, whether it’s students, their families, people that are coming in and working in our classrooms, we. We really are positioned to welcome people all the time. And so I thought it’d be fun for us to have a conversation about what does that look like, what does that sound like to welcome kids. So we’re thinking we’re kind of putting the welcoming at the beginning of the year of on the back burner. And we’re thinking about all the other times that we welcome kids. So when they’ve been sick and out for a little bit or coming back from a break or when else are we welcoming kids?
[00:02:08] Becca: I mean, even when they’ve left the room and are re entering, whether it’s to receive a service or they’ve needed time away and are re entering, whether they’ve just moved in and are entering into an already established community. And something you just said, like welcoming other adults. Right. Like, how are we welcoming and greeting the adults who are coming in and out of our room, like, is also a huge part of welcoming and welcoming back.
[00:02:37] Ruth: Yeah. So you know, and some people, they’ve been around me for a little while. Hey, Gem, there’s Becca’s cat. One of them, not the cute one.
[00:02:52] Becca: This is Gem.
I guess she’s joining us.
[00:02:58] Ruth: So Something about me is I choose a word to live by every year. And this year I chose my 20th word, which is kind of mind boggling to me. But my word is welcome.
So I think it’s been on my mind a little bit. And you know, like, even kids who are late to school, how do we welcome them when they come in?
So what are your thoughts?
[00:03:27] Becca: Yeah, I mean, as usual, I have lots of thoughts. But I, you know, a decade in, have had to welcome kids in a variety of ways. Whether it’s the kids who are chronically late and you have to kind of make a decision about if you’re going to immediately start questioning them about where have you been? Why didn’t you get on the bus? Where like, did you eat breakfast? Why haven’t you done your homework? Did you put your folder in the folder bin? Or are you going to be seeing them as a human and just be grateful for their presence? And so whether you’re like frustrated or not about the situation, like that child often or most likely had no say in whether they got to school on time or not that morning, and you get to say like, wow, I’m so happy to see you. I’m so glad you made it, like, come join us. Instead of othering them and making them feel rushed in behind, even more so than they may already.
[00:04:33] Ruth: It does take some wherewithal on our part. Right. Because I mean, like sometimes there’s really rushed mornings, we’re coming into school and we’re rushed or something has caused us to be late or like there’s a gazillion reasons why we’re feeling rushed. And I know as I’ve been concentrating on this idea of welcoming people, I’ve really had to learn just to pause that ticker tape of all the things I have to get done. Because if I’m, if I’m moving fast and somebody’s coming in and interrupting that, if I don’t really make a decision about how do I want to warmly welcome them, it’s really easy to kind of jump into all the things that still need to be done.
[00:05:25] Becca: Yeah. And something that seems to be a thread weaving through a lot of these conversations we’re having is seeing the human outside of the situation that you’re looking at. Right. So seeing the human that is in front of you outside of the fact that they’re late for school or outside of the fact that they’ve had to leave your room and come back or have been out for a while and remembering like that, that’s a whole human that you get to welcome and love and include and be a part of the community for the day. And I find that when I’m able to consider that outside of the fact that I’m frustrated and overwhelmed and there’s so much going on and I am able to step back and remember the human and the humanity of the child in front of me, it is a lot easier to take a deep breath and welcome that human into our space.
[00:06:21] Ruth: Right.
And the way that we welcome a child in really sets the tone for the whole room. And we’re setting up a child or a student who maybe had a rocky morning, right. Like, let’s say it’s somebody coming in late, they maybe had a rocky morning. And we’re kind of setting the tone for how everybody in the room is going to welcome them and greet them. Because I think the minute that we start like all these questioning, then it just opens the door for maybe others to be bristly also.
[00:06:58] Becca: Totally. I think that’s so important to model for kids and perhaps even more so for our colleagues. Right. Like, I think about, I’ve had to, like, I’ve had conversations with adults about how like a lot of these circumstances are outside of the kids control. Like, and sometimes I’m super grateful for how they greet the child who’s entering late. And sometimes I’m like, hey, we’re just grateful they’re here. Like, and if there’s a question you have, like, feel free to shoot me an email or pull me aside later, but we just greet them with, with love and welcome.
And when you say that, when you address it, almost always adults are like, oh yeah, that’s great, great point. Right. Like, they want to welcome children with kindness and love, but they just haven’t had like, the prompting to stop and consider how they’re being perceived.
And so in, in standing up for the kid for, and advocating for the welcoming welcome into the room, into the community, you’re also bringing awareness to the adults and helping them to see the perspective of like, what is this kid feeling as they’re entering into our world?
[00:08:17] Ruth: Definitely. I go into a lot of classrooms and a lot of different schools and there are some teachers who just set up their classroom. So there’s people who are greeting me when I walk in the room and they’ve been, you know, taught how to do that.
Just a few months ago, I visited Mandy Robeck’s classroom in Ohio, and Mandy sent two students down to the office to greet me. You know, they both said hello, they knew my name, they shook my Hand. And they said, we’re going to go back to the classroom. Let us show you. And on the way, they were telling me all these things about their school. And we just had this lovely conversation, you know, before I even enter the classroom. And what it did is I knew that once I got into the classroom, it was going to be like this warm, joyful, really calm environment. And I think there’s a lot of teachers, like Mandy, right? They are setting up that routine, or really it becomes a ritual in our classrooms. And I think it’s a good thing for us to think through knowing that we set the stage. So let’s shift gears a little bit, right? So let’s imagine that there’s a student who’s dysregulated, right? Maybe we’ve had to clear the classroom and the student needed some space, needed a break.
Let’s just say it’s the end of the day. And so the student doesn’t come back that day, comes back the next morning. And lots of schools have, like, a no toy come to school policy, right? And so this student who was dysregulated enough that we’re clearing the classroom, comes back to school the next day, and we know that they’re feeling a lot of anxiety because it’s not fun to, like, we don’t want to be the person that. That clears the room. And so they come back with, like, a special toy, right? And so they show up at your door.
Becca, just talk through. What would your response be to this student?
[00:10:44] Becca: So, like, in that moment, you have a choice, right? Like, yes, you have in your brain, like, the school policy of no toys or whether it’s your classroom policy, and you can run through all of the reasons that’s a rule, right? You can be like, oh, my gosh, it’s going to be a distraction. They’re going to fight over it. What if it breaks? You know, he’s not going to get any work done today. She’s not going to do anything. I asked her today because that toy is here.
[00:11:08] Ruth: And yesterday they weren’t following the rules, and now they’re getting a reward if they’re coming back with a toy. I mean, like, there’s a lot of things that are happening in our brains in this split second, but the kiddo is there at your door, and let’s say, like, they’re showing you the toy. Like, this is Burke. Look what I just put. Look at this. You know, like, what.
[00:11:29] Becca: What’s your reaction?
[00:11:30] Ruth: What’s your response?
[00:11:32] Becca: Honestly, it’s probably like, wow, that’s something that’s so special to you. I’m so grateful you showed me you wanted to share this with me. Where can we put it so that we can remember to bring it home with us at the end of the day? Right. Like, set them up for the expectation. Like, we don’t want them to be driving the truck around on the rug all day. We don’t want them to be sitting the doll in the chair next to them all day. Right. But we also don’t want to just negate the presence of that or immediately make them feel again that they’ve done something wrong and, or that they don’t belong or aren’t welcome in our classroom. And so I would, I would greet it with gratitude. Right? Like, wow, you thought this was so special that you felt like it was something I needed to see or experience. Experience. And like, that is so thoughtful. Where can we put it to keep it safe?
And then, as I say, I’m just.
[00:12:31] Ruth: Gonna back up a little bit though, Becca. So this. Right. So you brought it for me. Which, which is true sometimes, like, if we think about just the way that brains work and the, the high amount of stress that, that that student was under to be able to, like, because they were dysregulated the day. The day before. Are there other reasons why they might be bringing this special toy other than I want to show my teacher? Because what it looks like is I want to show my teacher.
[00:13:04] Becca Yeah.
[00:13:05] Ruth: But there could be some other reasons why they’re bringing this.
[00:13:08] Becca: And, and in the younger grades, you can kind of spin things and they just kind of accept it. In older grades, you would have to navigate some bigger conversations. They’re likely bringing that toy to give them a sense of. Of certainty, a sense of security. Entering into an anxiety inducing situation. Right. That is a sure thing. That toy will be there. I know. I like this toy. It’s something that brings me comfort. It’s something that reminds me of things that make me happy. And whether those are conscious thoughts or not, those are the things that that toy is likely providing for that child. And so in your choice, as you’re greeting this child and their toy, you are either validating those feelings and saying, yes, that that toy and you are welcome in this room and this is how we will do our day. Right. This is how you are welcome here, or you’re going to negate the toy. Being there and in, on some level, subconscious or not, you’re negating that child’s presence in your room or their feeling of security in Your room. Right. If you’re saying, what are you doing with that toy at our door? You’re. You’re saying, why are. Why are you bringing something that helps you feel safe?
And. And we would never want to explicitly say that to a child. Right. Like, you wouldn’t greet any child by saying, like, I don’t want you to feel safe here. What are you doing?
And so we need to consider the nuance of what we’re saying when they greet us with something we’re not expecting.
[00:14:47] Ruth: Yeah. Becca, I’m just so glad that we’re talking about this, because then I’m thinking about this student who’s bringing a different toy every day, Right.
That the. You know, like. And maybe they’re not on that extreme end of aggressive behavior, but there’s just some distraction that’s happening, and we’re like, my goodness, one more time, one more day, one more toy. And yet, when we understand that they’re sharing something about their lives where they’re bringing something to feel comfortable, they want some, like, some. Something validated in, like, this, that they’re valuable or that you see them or that they. You know, that they. They matter.
When we understand it from that way, then it helps me really think through how do I want to welcome a child, and what do I want my first words to be to them when they come into the door.
[00:15:55] Becca: It makes me also think about, you’ve likely built a community where kids know what to do with those toys. Right. If you have the kids who are bringing toys every day or. Or have security items that come with them, you are also working on things like how to have things in our room that we love so much and get our work done, how to go to those things when we need a sense of comfort or reassurance and then go back to work. And that’s part of building a welcoming community. Right? Like, we welcome all of those needs. We welcome supporting each other in every feeling and in every moment, and we work together to make this environment supportive of those things.
[00:16:45] Ruth: Yeah. And we honor the school rules.
We do a little bit of it all, but it comes down to, like you were saying, how do I preserve the humanity of this person who’s entering the classroom?
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This episode was sponsored by Choice Literacy, a powerful hub of articles, videos, and resources for teachers by teachers.